1. |
Benny
04:35
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Benny
Benny said he’s ready to be a real man
Ready for the bars and the women
Yeah he’s got a gun in his hand
Gonna kill his old man and hit the road running
Well he’s just seventeen but he knows the routine
Yeah his daddy taught him well with a bottle and a belt
Oh this town can go to hell
But things never go like planned
And his momma interfered and he couldn’t think through his sister’s tears
Thinking back it was never so clear
But he could see by the blood on his jeans that
He wasn’t dreaming when he heard those screams
And he said, “How could they defend him?” and
“How could they pretend to love the hand that strikes them?” and
“How can the ones you love ask you to take back an act of justice?
Isn’t it justice that makes us human anyway?”
Well now Benny’s on the run, the first degree, a loaded gun
And his high school picture poster’s at the deli and the grocer's
In every town he goes
So he grows a beard and he shaves his head
And he says “Young Benny’s dead
But he don’t get no service. Oh, that kid don’t deserve it. I’m a real man now”
“Yeah my life’s in my own hand
My own feet to stand on
My old beat been long gone
Got street smart and head strong
And it beats getting old
In the town where you’re told
That you’re gonna be nothing
You’re gonna be nothing”
Got some cash from the odd job
And stickups and stores robbed
And TVs car batteries
He didn’t have to beg, he didn’t have to bleed
He took what he needed and he called that free.
But the crimes caught up
And the time he bought by running
Got to feel like next to nothing,
But nothing could drown that feeling
With the weight of a history of misery
In the break of a wave of memory
Was it better to be a public enemy?
With his life in his own hand
His own feet to stand on
His old beat been long gone
got street smart and head strong
and it beats getting old
In the town where you’re told
That you’re gonna be nothing
You’re gonna be nothing”
So with his face in the papers
The cash in his pocket couldn’t get a man nowhere
But everyone knows him
And he’s finally someone
Benny got what he wanted
Benny stopped trying to run
So everyone looks at the man with the gun
And everyone listens to the man with the gun
What does he do now that everyone’s listening
And he’s holed up and surrounded on live television?
He says: How can a fire burn on forever?
How can you cry with a man that knew better?
Well my body may try to extinguish the embers
But I can’t really die if it’s me you remember
Benny said he’s ready to be a real man
Ready for the bars and the women
©2005, Nicholas Hohman
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2. |
Stone Wall
03:34
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Stone Wall
I thought I’d buried our stories
Away from the valley
But you’re looking worried
The hillsides are crumbling
Hurry they’re coming
But something ain’t right here
I feel your heart thumping
Why ain’t you running?
This town is all rallied
Us lovers are guilty
Our hours are slipping
The rivers are spilling
These people will kill us
The hillsides are crumbling
The oaks are uprooting
Our stone walls are falling
Our roads are all guarded
They’re tying the nooses
But babe you ain’t running
You stand like a statue
Braced against high winds
You started crying
I was staring right at you
You yell "Stand up, stand tall"
It’s our love after all
We’re a, stone wall
Hold my hand and stand tall
This town’s a steam engine
I’ve seen the faces of friends in passenger cars
People, go dowse your torches
Drop your pitchforks and get back to your porches and
Sit in the dark
It’s a damned dirty trick to live
Picked up tail ends of tales in the wind and then twist them to truths
You could have made diamonds from dust or bridges from rust
But you just make shit out of love
Why don’t you stand up, stand tall
It’s just love after all
We’re a, stone wall
Hold hands and stand tall
Well Babe, that was something
The way that we stared down the whole town and
Shook up this old ground
And it was something
The ways sounds travel out to the outskirts and back,
Wait a second what’s that?
Running start running
Women and children
The old and the young men
Its happening again
The country’s on fire
Their ears burning red
Their eyes open wide with surprise
Mouths running wild
Have you heard what they said?
Have you seen what they did?
Stand up, stand tall
It’s our love after all
We’re a, stone wall
Hold hands and stand tall
©2005, Nicholas Hohman
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3. |
Full Moon
05:27
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Full Moon
You’re trying to fix me, I’m not willing to change
I’ve been searching for loopholes, you’re seeing what I ain’t
It's one more fight before a long night
And it's one more sigh before a good cry
We ain’t got long before its goodbye
Goodbye
Good try, good try, good try
You’ve got it together and I’ve fallen apart
I’m twisting my instincts to fit into your heart
And it’s two or none before I give in
And it’s too far gone for either to win
And you won’t let go and you won’t embrace it
Embrace it
Let's face it, Let's face it, Let's face it
Full moon, night sky, good heart, good guy
Right time, wrong life, blue heart, reprise
I can’t help resisting, you’re sorry for not
You can’t help assuming, I can’t promise that
Either I can’t speak or you can listen
And if I quit now we’ll call it treason
But a soulless line is hard believing
Believing
So I’m leaving, I’m leaving, I’m leaving
Big dreams, big step, long road, regret
My hate, my faith, my needs awaken
©2005, Leah Hohman-Esser
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4. |
Track 4
00:05
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Track 4
I think I'll sit
I think I'll
I think I'll sit
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5. |
Underdog
04:46
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Underdog
I think I’ll sit and take the hit in the end
Let the muscle run the hustle throw the fight to the wind
I got the jaw for the job, I got the heart for the sin
I’ll leave this town without a sound, without a word, without a friend
A heap of dirt I lie unhurt on the mat
In the shadow of a fighter “Get up off your back” he says
“Get your gloves to your face, get your boots relaced
I don’t need your help to beat a sellout washed up eyesore basket case”
I used to be an underdog
I used to need the heart to drag my body off the ropes
I used to sleep with my gloves on
I used to keep my head screwed on with nothing but my hopes
The tiger lies dull eyed his tail hangs limp from the cage
In the office of the profit where I gather my pay
And he allows my stare to linger just a moment before he turns away
And the press and betters fight for sights find headlines in my masquerade
Well I push through the crowds alone long abandoned by my entourage
And they shout loud, my head stays down, “Why’d you throw it, Mac?” is the question they ask
Past angry bastards lost to vice and lost twice if you count my fight
But tonight is the last night I’ll be seen dead or alive in this city’s lights
I used to be an underdog
I used to bleed a quart before I let my body get the best of me
I used to fight to beat the clock
I used to wear bruised eyes and busted lips like morbid trophies
I found my fists. I’d been fighting for four years
When the first hit stuck, it felt like luck but luck could never last so long
It was the dawn of a new age, the first page my new ways
I didn’t need soul with a machine’s degree of control I didn’t need heart with a clear face
The money wasn’t bad from winning and neither were the women
But I got caught up in things found what trouble brings when I tried to bring my game outside the ring
So when the sirens sang and the spotlight brought light to my newfound night life
A dark eyed man extended hands with a way out, all the way out
I used to be an underdog
I used to give my body to the fight to keep my soul
But now my body’s all I got
Two hundred pounds of meat and skin and bones is getting cold
I used to be an underdog
I used to need the heart to drag my body off the ropes
I used to sleep with my gloves on
I used to keep my head screwed on with nothing but my hopes
I used to be an underdog
©2005, Nicholas Hohman
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6. |
Lucky Day
05:51
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Lucky Day
You eighteen wheel cowboy, you everyman's brother
Climb the cab, kick the clutch, turn the key, feel her shudder
You gray bearded nomad, you highway-born child
Trucking lumber across America, for a quarter per mile
Pull onto the shoulder, between Denver and Boulder
I stand holding my thumb up, guitar slung across my back, watching my breath rest in the cold air
Soft words come from your rumbling lungs
"It's our lucky day, son"
You ask me, "Can you make that old guitar music? Can you carry a tune?
My radio broke back past Idaho. I got fifteen hundred miles of pavement to offer you
You got a ticket to ride in the passenger's side
Long as the songs ring off the rocky range
Long as you play the plains of the Midwest away
Long as you're bluer than the grass in the southern states
Long as you can cry with the clouds in the northern grey"
I'm a lonely hitchhiker. Please take me where you will
You took us across Kansas, through Missouri, down Kentucky, to Nashville
Driving the line beneath the rift in the sky
Where bruised clouds riding twisters
Met blue skies lined by live wires
Soft light comes from a humbling sun
It's a lucky day
It was around Kansas City I'd settled my seat
At least enough to speak while I was changing my strings
"How's a rag-tag freeloader like me, get along on the road
Not just a warm cab and the fast track, but an open ear I can sing at?"
You said "My old man was a cross-country driver
He rarely spoke, but these words set me fire
'Ain't no better charm
For an eighteen wheel cowboy
Than a man and his guitar
Trading songs for the countryside'"
So don't pass by a traveler
With music to offer
Because in twilight the bastards
Of devils and monsters
Will weigh on the eyelids of
Of road weary truckers
Without the kindness of strangers
The heaven sent ushers
And I sang to the thunder
Tuned my strings to the tires
Strummed ballads of travelers
Told the stories of liars
Until as the crow flies it's a quick hike
To the Pennsylvania state line
Soft songs come from my trembling hands
It's our lucky day, friend
©2006, Nicholas Hohman
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7. |
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Please, Please, Please, Please
I deny, depressed and wry
And guess at weights, my legs drag on
To stay the night
To fight, to die
It’s hard, I said
Come hold my hand
Come hold my head
Against your knees
Baby please, please, please, please
I found the nerve, but I lost the need
Baby please, please, please, please
My grasp exceeds the past that I dreamed
And I had it, oh I had it, but I grew weak
But I never looked away
No I never turned my head away
But I never looked away
No I never turned my head away
I abide by rules and lies
I tried the fire, I tried the ice
My smiles are tied now to rows of rye
It burns me alive from the inside
While I try to cry just to prove to myself that I’m still alive
Baby please, please, please, please
I need your breath, I need your eyes
Baby please, please, please, please
To bleed, to sweat, to scream, to cry
Oh and I had it, oh I had it but I grew weak
But I never looked away
No I never turned my head away from you
But I never looked away
No I never turned my head away from you
©2007, Nicholas Hohman
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8. |
River Charms
07:22
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River Charms
You got a lot of guts turning your back on this little river town like that
Like it ain’t tough, your mind’s made up and the tide ain’t a joke, it’s a fight, who’s laughing?
It’s past midnight. This is the last cry for reason you’ll get from me. It’s a hell of a night.
Stash your maps and charts below, cause the wind is blowing fast and hard and cold let’s go
But a bridge is never far from you, the darkness splits apart for river lights
Start your engine hard and set your sights
‘Cause the kids will always be racing down the shore, trying to chase your wake
To stake their claims on river charms the boats you carved the beads you made.
The scars on your hull tell the tales of splitting barges and river walls racing the law
The dirt in your nails disappears when you lay hands on the sweat stained grip of your wheel
You use them floor boards for bedrolls and a brick for a pillow
Fill all your gas cans with boat fuel and glass jars with the local brew
You pass cars on flood banks, gut them for steel plate
Its never too late for leaving It’s never too late
But a bridge is never far from you, the darkness splits apart for river lights
Start your engine hard and set your sights
‘Cause the kids will always be racing down the shore, trying to chase your wake
To stake their claims on the river charms the boats you carved the beads you made.
It took Sunday when you tied up and set foot on our dirt ramp
Until Tuesday when you hightailed, Sheriff barely on your trail
Like a piper with promises as long it’s a fair trade
I guess I broke the deal we made, so you claimed stakes and slipped away
With the kids racing down the shore, trying to chase your wake,
To stake their claims on the river charms the boats you carved the beads you made.
Yeah, the kids will always be racing down the shore, trying to chase your wake
To stake their claims on the river charms the boats you carved the beads you made.
A bridge is never far from you, the darkness splits apart for river lights
Start your engine hard and set your sights
‘Cause the kids will always be racing down the shore, trying to chase your wake
To stake their claims on the river charms the boats you carved the beads you made.
©2006, Nicholas Hohman
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9. |
Silence Like Crystal
04:46
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Silence Like Crystal
Silence like crystal
It's clear but it's fragile
And my hands in fists still
I missed you, I missed you
You said that you missed me
But flinched when you kissed me
Been shit since it hit me
You hate me lately
And I been debating is
Stating the obvious
Going to be the best way
I pile my troubles and
Struggle through rubble
Just trying to find the next day
And you tasted my love
And you tested my love
But it wasn’t enough
For you, no it wasn’t enough
I’m not done talking yet
I might just have to let
You sit and watch me decay
Well I crawl on all fours
Just to get to your door
And I scream you ignore me away
But I know that you’re in there
I’m scared as you stare through your
Window you watch from above
And there's holes in my knees
And I won’t go to sleep
Not until you admit this is love
And you tasted my love
And you tested my love
But it wasn’t enough
For you, no it wasn’t enough
Silence like crystal
It's clear but it's fragile
And my hands in fists still
I missed you, I missed you
©2003, Nicholas Hohman
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10. |
Cinderella
04:28
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Cinderella
Early afternoon and your head is on the pillow
You’ll be leaving soon and nobody will know
You’re not asleep but you’re drunk with desire
Your skirt’s a little shorter but the stake’s a little higher
So out the window and down the dirt road
In another hour at the 7-eleven
Prince Charming picks you up in his pickup truck
You’d sit next to him but his buddies ride shotgun
And its not what you expected
Dirt on your skirt in the bed of the Ford
At least you’re not rejected
He flirts with the clerks at the liquor store
Your pride is still protected
You duck out of sight as a neighbor drives by
Your tears are kept in check, the
Best still to come as the night is still young
He skids to a stop you notice the sun’s heat
Parked at the dance hall he changes your plans
His boys walk off you get in the front seat
Sharp as a band saw he touches your hand
You don’t care it’s what you wanted anyway
Today wasn’t any day as he pulled away from the hideaway
You were there. You felt the things you wanted to
Until he felt the night was through and he was through with you
He left you too
Walking home
All alone
Now your sorry that you
Said what you said
Did what you did
Didn’t look the other way
Didn’t stay
Should have gone away
Now it’s much too late
Done the deeds you hate
Left it up to fate
Nothing left to say
That was your day
Now it’s over, it’s over
The clock strikes twelve
and its back to the same old hell
One chance
Just one dance
You had big plans
It was your last stand
It’s past and
The bastard is passing for
Prince Charming again
Cinderella
When will learn, learn, learn?
Cinderella
When will you learn?
©2002, Nicholas Hohman
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11. |
Three Letters
06:26
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Three Letters
Buddies in battle all tattered and rattled
Like bastards in pastures revered and reviled
The bitter faced gunners with tracer laced thunder
Lay waste to a hundred stark hearted believers
Truckloads of youngsters packed tight in their bunkers
Giddy with gun smoke and pretty with hunger
Drumming on helmets and counting down minutes
Till their turn to line sights with veteran cynics
My chinstrap clipped loose
Nightlights shine off the guys’ eyes
On recon across Baghdad’s southwest border
It’s those damn quiet nights that just don’t feel right
And you can’t hide yourself in a two ton truck
You check the fluids and the tires, and you clean the guns
And cross your fingers, keep your head up and your eyes pried
Cause it’s your senses not your weapon that’s gonna keep you alive
Cross your fingers, keep your head up and your eyes pried
Cause it’s your senses not your weapon that’s gonna keep you alive
Well my name is Peter, trained med from Toledo
Ohio, joined up to buy time and a dime for my schooling
My best pal was Davy, Had a kid and a lady
She was just seventeen when she told him, “I’ll
Wait right here, faithful and holding our baby”
“Honey, don’t cry,” he said, “I’ll be back before he takes his first steps”
They say it ain’t bad out there
We got safety in numbers
Got hundreds of brothers
Got guns trucks and armor
Got trained as a soldier
Eight miles in full gear
My M16’s clean, blessed by God
Got to go, Dear
Exposed, we rode side roads, dirt clouds grow behind us
Alley’s shadows swing closed like doors and it just reminds us
That no one knows a child from a killer if all you see is silhouette figures
Who could guess what next turns bear explosives’ taut triggers
So cross your fingers, keep your head up and your eyes pried
Cause it’s your senses not your weapon that’s gonna keep you alive
So cross your fingers, keep your head up and your eyes pried
Cause it’s your senses not your weapon that’s gonna keep you alive
Shook hard by an IED
Scattered morphine and IVs
Flipped the truck, fire due east
From guns in the alley
And my ears were still ringing
Roll to cover, hold position
Felt a hand at my shirt sleeve
Turned to see Davy singing
He sang “God, getting shot don’t burn nearly as much
As the flash of the past that I barely touched
God, getting shot don’t spill near as much blood
As the blood that I was passed from my father and mum
God, getting shot can’t spill near enough blood
To take back from the blood that I’ve given my son”
So cross your fingers, keep your head up and your eyes pried
Cause it’s your senses not your weapon that’s gonna keep you alive
His last breath as a man is his last breath as a soldier
“It’s colder than I thought it’d be,” I read his lips as his hands let go of my shoulders
My blood cross embossed across his red cheek where I held his head to my chest
My friend left me with three letters, each folded crisp and fresh ink address
Like he knew that today was the day and of course he would’ve only gone the soldier’s way
One to his mother and father, one to his lady, and one to his son. His name was also Davy.
©2005, Nicholas Hohman
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12. |
In the Ether
06:37
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In The Ether
I sing a song, says I'm sorry
She says its all in the ether
I'll be along in a hurry
Not a worry, on the outside
Well I think I see something settle
Could be the lights in her eye
Well she stands so striking and simple
And so sinful, in the night
Oh and I, I just sift through the sighs
And I see her break down
But I can't see, through my own eyes,
Through her disguise, my, my
She said she’d settled for better
That I let her slip away
I should have climbed cliffs to get her,
Crossed a river, walked for days
Oh but I, I just stood and watched
Her walk away from me
Oh and it hurts, but that’s okay
It’s my own fault, oh it’s my own fault anyway
That’s what she said, and I believe her
Well I spoke a word in a moment
I turned some heads out in public
I never meant to accuse you
To abuse you, just amuse you
Oh and I, I just called out your name
But you ignored, oh you ignored my words
Babe that’s ok, I’ll go away
Hanging my head, dragging my feet, baby I’m beat
©2004, Nicholas Hohman
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